My Third Best Fall

We've been in our condo now for 7 months, and during that time I have fallen once, that I will admit to.   For some reason known only to it, MS has a ball pestering my left big toe, and it hurts something fierce.  I was at my local physical therapy pool ( from our new location everything is 5 minutes away) and the toe just pounded. After sitting in the hot boiling water four about seven minutes so that I could de-numb the body.  Then I did my exercises as well as I could, except for the one where I stretch my toes, and stepped away from the pool.  I had my usual walmart flip flops waiting for near me my towel and the door.  I opted not to use the flip flops due tp the agony of the Toe.  So I hobbled into the men's changing room.  Now I am usually the last guy in there for the pool day, which meant it had been waiting for me for a long time.  Bright lights greet me as I step into Sanitary Land. I take two steps toward my locker, my right foot finds the only bit of water still on the floor from every other guy of day.  Boom, out go both legs and I hear that cry from my brain that is never good - Oh, no I gonna die right now!

Did I mention the coffee?  In my right hand was a Dunkin Donuts Iced Dark Roast - large size.  I picked up a hot or cold coffee to sip in my "Don't Move Anything!" rest stops in the pool. Anyway, the coffee went first, then me. I think I yelled out "Not the co-" and then hit the floor, and my head. And since I was the only person in the room I could have said a lot more things that no one heard.  I took a few breaths and checked that everything was in working order, and slowly rose, despite the personal alarms going in various parts ofund the damage my person.  My first full idea was clean the floor, then 2) grab towels covering it and me, 3) clean both the floor, the walls, and my sports bag.  These could be done sitting down.  Getting up, well, that was a bit of a chore, and dressing was slow.  Finally I crawled   up and out the door, sans coffee and some dignity.  Should I tell the front desk folks? Nah, just wanted to get home.

When I got home I found out the damage was my arm gashed and and the back of my head was dripping off.  After some first aid, my wife asked me if I wanted to go see if I had a concussion.  But really, when you've got PPMS, how could you tell?

Look, the concussion symptoms -

Headaches or neck pain that do not go away
Difficulty remembering, concentrating, or making decisions
Slowness in thinking, speaking, acting, or reading
Getting lost or easily confused
Feeling tired all of the time, having no energy or motivation
Mood changes (feeling sad or angry for no reason)
Changes in sleep patterns (sleeping a lot more or having a hard time sleeping)
Light-headedness, dizziness, or loss of balance

PPMS Everyday, baby!  So I grew my hair out to cover the head mess, and today spent three hours with razors and my wife getting the hair back off.  So I look more like me.  And no more falls.  As far I know.

An MS'er goes back to Disney World 2014

An MSer goes to Disney World.

Things you learn:

1. No matter how slow you think you are moving WDW, there is always someone slower, and normally they are right in front of you, no matter where you are.  Sometimes, they are obese (and carrying more food), sometimes they are listening deeply to the words of another (who is slow also) or they are moving as pack,normally age 18 - 25 young males and females, and they are trolling everything on the Web (their index fingers going flick, flick, flick) until they have an OMG moment and stop to tell the rest of the pack the news.
2. People in rented scooters are, for the most part, trying to maneuver about the Parks as best they can. Others seem to get some thrill ramming into your back legs (because they see you as “slow”) and will not stop until you move aside.  This is why there is so much searching at the entrance to the Disney Parks.  We have to bring stuff, and the Parks want to make sure that we who have to bring stuff to Parks don’t bring Tasers to make the place the Happiest One on Earth by removing Loud Talkers, Whining/Screaming Children, and the Walk and Sudden Stoppers (see No. 1) from ruining other people’s days.
3. Speaking of scooters, my wife and I have decided that next year, barring a cure, of course, that I’ll have to start driving a scooter when we next visit WDW.  We stay at a Disney resort and I would use it there just to get around the area.  I can plop down in the Parks plenty of places, but the resorts? Nope. Get on the busses! Buy stuff! If you are sitting, and not eating what we have, you are wasting our time!
4. We will gladly take your picture at a lovely site, and you can download it for a low low price of about 20 bucks a pop, and you can also download it for four 
   weeks and then its gone.  They give you the best shot, and you are then stuck with a lousy shot on your own or pay the 20 bucks. Not always, but enough to add to a stress level. And you can only get these pictures for a month after the camera clicked by the Disney pros.
5. And all through this, my exhaustion and leg pain continues unabated. “Having a good time?” “Yep!” “Good. Relaxing and having fun?”  “I haven’t relaxed since 2008.”  
6. For me, “Its a small world” is a challenging ride.  All those eyes blinking, and the international dolls being placed in motion by sticks in their butts, and the damned song.  Just the stupid song.  Move to the next number down or “Small World” will be stuck in your head, too. You have been warned!
7. Please add to the list of People I Want To Taser as being anyone who walks around the beauty of the Parks, and there is great beauty, attached to a phone in their ear and move quickly (to you, sometimes a sloth moves quickly) and she does not see you because busy people talking on their cell look down at the ground as they walk, and are stunned to see you suddenly in front of them. It is your fault.  Then they move on with a sigh and a “What? Sorry. What was that? No, some old guy, looking at my butt.  Ha-ha.”
8. At the end of the Mickey’s very merry party (with free 8 ounce hot chocolate and two sugar cookies per guest) the parade of Disney characters went up Main Street, once around the rotary and then went back to cartoon oblivion behind a door near the giant toy train that circles the Magic Kingdom.  Walt liked trains.  There’s no real catch here except that the departure of the characters meant Disney, Inc. would like you, the customer who just paid a separate admission and received two cookies and 8 ounces of hot chocolate in return and told to move into a two foot wide area of the Main Street closest to the road. See, I fall over a bit, and being moved around by the “Helpers”, didn’t help matters.  Finally, someone was kind enough to reduce the size of their baby stroller from warehouse to SUV size and I could watch the cartoon spectacle, as long as I kept 80% of my sneaker behind the line. The human version of the Frozen group just smiled and waved.
9. This is usually where I can get really annoyed about disease, Congress, or something, but I’d like to leave Disney (and 2014) with this picture.  I turned around at the last minute and took this shot.  I am not sure that the future (or the MS version of it) may allow me many more trips down to Orlando or a lot of other.  So I may not see this again.  All that kept going through my mind was President Obama (no politics, please) at his 2nd inaugural when he was leaving the stand stopped and turned around, seeing the day, and the dignitaries, and the crowd cheering.  “I’ll never see this again,” he said.  Live each moment.  Be present here. As much as you can. And to requote the great Warren Zevon “Enjoy every sandwich”. 
   
   
   Happy Holidays!
   
   
   

Year Four-Falling off Ladders, A Learning Experience.

I had a sudden interest in dust yesterday.  I was sitting on the couch, reading, and waiting to dash off (if you want call it dashing now) to my psychiatrist appointment, and looked over at the bathroom door.  I could see white on the wood stained panels. Should take care of that, I thought.  So I got up and grabbed the Pledge and did some touch up around the place, getting bath powder and general dust off of surfaces in a few rooms. 

Declaring victory, I went on my way, saw my psydoc - another whole post for that, ran a few errands, lunch and home.  Settled back and watched some DVR'd shows.  While I was sitting on the couch, I looked up and saw the ceiling fan.  Wow, was that thing dusty....

And since I was on a dust warpath (forced air heat can do that) I grabbed my official duster of high things I got at an "As seen on TV" store.  Couldn't quite reach the thing. In the past, even the recent past, I would get a kitchen ladder like this one...

in fact exactly like this one, and get up and do what needed to be done.  Nope.  One step up (and those are paint stains, by the by) and the task was immediately postponed until today when Jackie was home. I, being alpha male around here, got my Swiffer and then the kitchen ladder and had one foot on step two and one on step three, and the swiffering was completed.  And then I realized there was no way to get down.  Again, like Sunday, the body would not move.

So instead of standing there like a swiffering statue, I called Jackie.  She ran in from the kitchen, took my hands in hers and held on as I stepped down, alpha male with tail between his legs (uh, bad visual). We later had to measure a bathroom fixture for replacement and we did the same routine.

I've never been a macho kind of guy.  If I was I wouldn't be telling you these things, I'd do the "suck it up" routine.  But I may not be on the drugs that I need either, or in therapy. Still, asking for help? From a female persuasion person? Puh-leeeze.

Already did it.  Part of the learning curve.  Reached out to the handy-dandy fix it guy, and we began working out fix it time later next week.  Jackie did the majority of the snow shoveling, and I did mop up with a broom.  The new normal.  It is starting to slip, and I don't mean just off step ladders.  House and big yard. Chores. More demands.

We need to get out of here.

I shared Sunday's tumbling news with the support group. Their advice...never be without a cellphone.  I've avoided one for years, used it only if Jackie asked.  Things change.

More on the psydoc soon.  Thanks for reading.

Year Four - Falling Down

I fell over today.  Now just about every human being can say that statement, so I'm feeling part of the vast collective here, but there's always a difference when you add MS to the mix.  Yes, I know, I don't have official MS - see the previous post- but the many lesions on my brain were having a great time with me today.  Because as Dean Martin says....

Dean and I are not related, by the way.  And winter is a marshmallow world.  For me, in more ways than one.

It's a typical Sunday morning for us.  Breakfast, the newspaper, CBS Sunday morning.  Jackie had some errands to run so we agreed to meet at Dunkin' Donuts around noon.  Off she went and I futzed with some chores and then grabbed some laptop time.  I noticed that a plug had become loose under my desk so I slid down to my hands and knees, crawled under the desk, and tightened up what needed to be tightened.  I backed out slowly so as not to hit my head on the edge of the desk, nice and safe.  And then got ready to stand up.

Nothing happened.  My knees would not work.  I did the internal reboot that MS sometimes requires, and tried again.  I dragged my right leg up and then, holding on to my chair, pulled up the left leg.  Here's where the marshmallow stuff occurred.  It was like Dean and friends had replaced my knees with Marshmallows.  Walking became weird, and dangerous.  If Monty Python needed new entries for the Ministries of Silly Walks, I had a doozy.  Worse, it was time for me to head out and meet Jackie at DDs.  A slow dragging slog across the living room ensued,with sponges and Marshmallow Fluff for muscles and tendons.  Must get iced coffee.... Eventually I was able to get everything together and get out the door, but it was five minutes before the legs started to function at the (new) normal level.

No problem driving the car, but after a donut and coffee, Jackie headed off on more errands and I returned home, this time to clear the driveway of ice and snow.  I stepped into the garage and grabbed a box of holiday ornaments that were going to the shed we have on the back of our land, and where my ice scraper was.  I carried the not overly heavy box with me at about tummy level, heading toward the sloping snow covered back yard.  I saw some ice by the back of the house where it had built up from the melting roof snow.  Simple to step over that.

But my leg didn't go up as high as I thought and then down I went, the box of ornaments gliding away like a sled full of happy Hallmark people.  Okay, I fell over.  Happens. Get up.

I said, get up.  Nothing.

Now this is where those mind movies happen.  What if I'm stuck here? What if I just can't move? The lesions have opted for a blitzkrieg, and here I sit totally occupied.  I'd have to wait until Jackie came home.  All kinds of scenarios played out.  But then I said to myself what I normally say - Get up, and that is an order.

So I did.  Slowly, deliberately I got up, this time no marshmallow knees, and grabbed for the box and made my way to the shed.  I stepped in my little hovel away from home, and breathed deeply.  My body had responded, albeit in its time.  And I was able to get the work done that I needed, Jackie pitching in when she got home.  Then football, college basketball, dinner and Downton Abbey.

Maybe it was a warning sign, maybe not.  I'll admit to being slightly scared, and since I'm writing this at 4:14 AM, some achy muscles have added to the uncomfortableness.  I've got support group and other projects for the day, but I will see what I've got available as far as energy is concerned.

Marshmallow world, my sore butt, Dino.

Thanks for reading.