You know you're moving when....

1.  The ugly microwave has been banished to the garage on show days, so you have to go out to the unheated garage to warm up your coffee. By the time I get back inside, the coffee's cold again.

2. We have vacuumed the carpet in places we didn't know we had carpet.

3. Will we be judged by how the toilet paper feed is topside or downside?

4. No, the Buddha is not for sale.

5. Pay no attention to the holes in the outside wall.  If anyone tries to cover them up, large woodpeckers will perform scenes from Hitchcock's "The Birds."  You've  been warned.

6. Look through the garage and find six lawn chairs.  And two more hanging on the far wall. And four more in the shed. Twelve outdoor chairs? We've never had 12 people here in 29 years.  And the balcony at our new place is about three feet wide, and three floors up.   We'll be lucky to FIT 12 people in the new place.

7. I can't find the power cord for, well, just about anything. We were told by the real estate agent to hide all wires, and we did it so well, nothing works.  I did find my Mac power cord in my underwear drawer.

8. I think its weird that we sign a contract with people we don't know and give them permission to bring other people we don't know into our home and then ask these strangers if our place is goof for them.  And then they say "No".

9. We started our December tree decoration by bringing in four boxes of stuff.  On January 6, we took down the holiday spectacle. We now had six boxes.  We bought two small ornaments all season.  Why are there two more big boxes of stuff?

10. Just as bad as strangers walking around our house is we have to ask big financial houses for a mortgage to pay off what will owe for the condo.  We just saw "The Big Short".  Be worried.